Sunday, December 25, 2005
MERRY CHRISTMAS Everyone!!!! :o)
tricia grew up
at 1:29 PM
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Ha. Since no one really knows about this blog or has forgotten it, I shall release and relieve myself by way of this space.
So what's been happening? I don't know. It seems the world around me has followed my example and has become unfortunate and/or cynical. My poor blockmates who used to have someone......well, don't anymore, to put it simply. It makes me feel worse coz seeing that other people are happy helps me become the jolly,skippy,hoppy me again. Knowing that others are doing okay gives me a sense of hope. So much for that.
I feel like so many things have changed, like i've changed but i'm not sure exactly how. this year's christams season feels different too... not that last year's was really happy or merry either, but I always expect the christmas season to cheer me up despite everything that's happened within the year. I feel like this huge fraction of me has been taken away. Maybe it's also coz i've been apart from my friends for so long too, and the activities that we used to have annually in OB are over, so my "rituals" are all messed up. I guess people really do have a need for a routine sometimes. Do you ever feel the urge to blow really hard when you see a line of ants going back and forth to wherever it is they're going? just to see them scramble about and then go back to their business? I feel like one of those ants i've so often bullied, but can't seem to return to my business
normally. I mean, i'd be all-smiley and happy, but inside it just doesn't feel the same. And so my mask is worn again, hoping that I would believe it myself.
but who am i kidding in the end?
Yup. Just me, only me. . . .
always me.
tricia grew up
at 6:30 PM
