Saturday, November 26, 2005
What's worse, the feeling of intense anger or intense guilt?
would you rather feel hate, or feel hated? If I could refrain from dealing with both, I certainly would, but I, unfortunately am human as well and cannot restrain from feeling either. I constantly keep wishing that the world I see in my daydreams could be the one that I had to live in. A world where the sky would stay in sunset or twilight mode, where things or people would never have to grow old, and where you'd never have to worry about anything. Time would be endless, and could rewind, fast forward or freeze as you please. In short, I still dream of a world where I could belong, where I could be alone but not FEEL alone. I still dream of Neverland.
I never am good with dealing with any emotion other than happy. If i feel anything else it tends to eat me up and chew me into thousands of miniscule pieces before spitting me out on the ground. All I would ever feel or think about for that entire day would be that feeling. But between anger and guilt, I guess I'd rather feel anger for the reason that I can easily brainwash myself to think that it's okay, or it's not that bad, and sometimes even just let it pass. but I don't think I could ever live with myself again if I felt really guilty about something. So when the time comes when someone does me wrong, all I really want is a whole-hearted sorry and i'm okay. I could even forget about the whole thing. But I just really want to avoid having to avoid, or being avoided. It eats me up to the same intensity of feeling any negative feeling coz I don't know whether it's my fault or not or whatever. That's one sure way to make me crazy.
Now I think i'm just babbling. but basta....
I HATE ignoring and being ignored.
tricia grew up
at 7:17 PM
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Ateneo BLUE REPERTORY Presents...SWEET CHARITY OPEN AUDITIONS! - Open to anyone in and out of the AteneoNovember 11 (Friday), 1PM to 3PM Gonzaga Dance Hall, 3rd Flr. Gonzaga Building (SONG). Prepare a Broadway Song, sung in acapella, with minus one, or piano piece. Bring 1X1 pic for audition forms. dANCE CALLbacks also on November 11,3pm to 5pm. So wear comfy clothes and shoes! November 12 (Saturday), CALLBACKS, 1pm to 5pm, Gonzaga Dance Hall. Please don't be late, since no song auditions after 3pm on Nov11. Please bring P40 for dstudy cds if u are called back Don't miss this opportunity to be in a Tony Award winning and Bob Fosse original musical, BLUEREP'S BIGGEST PRODUCTION FOR THIS SCHOOL YEAR!! (Will be staged Feb24, 25, and March 3& 4, directed by Chari Arespacochaga and musical direction by Manman Angsico). SPREAD THE WORD!! SEE U THERE!!
tricia grew up
at 3:25 PM
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Je deteste.
tricia grew up
at 12:44 PM
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
TwilightI was stained with a role in a day not my own
As you walked into my life
You showed what needed to be shown
I always knew what was right
I just didn’t know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight
And I will never see the sky the same way
And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday
And I will never cease to fly if held down
And I will always reach too high
‘Cause I’ve seen,‘cause I’ve seen
Twilight
Never cared, never wanted, never sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose, so in my face, couldn’t see beyond my own place
And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold
But you taught me I could change
Whatever came within these shallow days
And I will never see the sky the same way
And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday
And I will never cease to fly if held down
And I will always reach too high
‘Cause I’ve seen, ‘cause I’ve seen...
As the sun shines through it pushes away and pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead
And I didn’t know that I could be so blind to all that is so real
But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed
I was stained by a role in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life
You showed what needed to be shown
I always knew what was right
I just didn’t know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight
tricia grew up
at 1:38 PM
