Where the spirit does not work with the hand there is no art.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Heeeeey.....

time has passed by so quickly these past few days. Everything i've been looking forward to, or all the agenda(s)? that were supposed to happen have already happened.

The last trip to my dad's house in laguna was fun. We always just sit around like big fat bums and eat,sleep and watch dvd's all day, but this time we actually got some exercise! we got there at night na, at around 9 pm, after a say full of shopping. So at around 10:30 to 12 midnight, me, ate and angie played badminton in the gym. Now i haven't really seriously played badminton before, so this was sort of my first try. I felt kinda confused at first, since i'm more used to playing volleyball, so both my arms and hands were just......not coordinating with each other.Hahaha.... but it was really fun, i tired myself out like mad but had a greeeaat time! I love it there coz you get so preoccupied with stuff that you forget about other things.....like your phone,for instance. Me and ate usually just leave our phones upstairs and just check on it like, twice a day or so. Ofcourse, sometimes i cant help myself and i bring it with me wherever, but at times like these it feels great to not care about other matters and just have fun.

So anyways, here are other things that have come to pass....

Graduation

So it's finally over. My highschool life is indeed finished.over.no more.done.never to return. I loo back and see how quickly it came by, and i feel as if every single bit of *tooot!* that i went through doesn't seem that much anymore. it's like, i wanna go back to each year and see what i've accomplished my whole highschool life. I feel extremely lucky to have been part of my class and not any other, and to have had such friends as i do now, but i feel as if it wasn't enough.... like i missed a lot of stuff.it didn't seem like 4 years to me. haaaay.... I guess i'm just missing it. My dad might have a new house built and me and my sister were talking about the designs of our rooms and what we'd have in it. Finally, i could have a proper study desk coz whenever i bring my homework there,it never gets done coz of all the yummmy temptations in the kitchen(which is the only place where i could do them). But then i realized, i'm never gonna take down notes again! despite the extremely huge hassle of having to copy notes and whatever, i liked doing it somehow. For me it was better than studying, and with really good music in the background, it felt so relaxing!(unless ofcourse you had to do 5 to 7 chapters in more than just one subject all in just one night because of your stupid procrastination). Wala lamg, i liked doing my notes. [ somewhere in the back of my head i hear my family cough out a word that sounds an awful lot like "dork"]....yeah,yeah,yeah. Enough already!

But seriously. I'm REEEEEEAAAALLLLLY,EXTREMELY gonna miss highschool. I'm even gonna miss some of 'em stupid teachers and their stupid requirements. And i never thought i'd say this so soon, but yes.... i AM actually gonna miss ob. Though it definitely isn't the best school in the world, i had a learned a lot din naman from everything thats happened and enjoyed highschool....plus its cool to know that you and some of your friends may even have more logic than your school and academic coordinators ;-)

Congratulations Maghari batch 2005!!!

Summer is here

So, due to insufficient funds because noone wanted to pay for the expenses of the grad ball, we didn't have one anymore. Well, it was supposed to be on the day after grad, but that's when we went to the beach so im kinda glad that i didnt miss yet ANOTHER batch get-together thing. So, we went to batangas with my dad and stuff. We slept in maya maya resort, but we spent most of the day in evercrest(now white cove) and would go to other places like punta fuego and stuff, courtesy of my dad's boat. his latest toy. Well not really his latest. Anyway, most of my cousins were there, so we all rode the boat to go over to punta fuego,but there were too many people. So we went to tali beach an what did the guys do? jump off a cliff. Yes, seriously. Apparantly there's this cliff thats been around since my mom's time and is really known for its....erm, jumping site? whatever, too tamad to think of the right term. Well, there were about 30 more people there, and some foreigners were even doing summersaults and fancy diving stuff. Meanwhile, back at the boat, the girls were watching as the guys anxiously made their way up then chickenly told one another to jump off first. Now this would'nt be so bad if only abbey and i weren't getting motion sickness, if we actually got off the boat and swam or heck, even jumped off the cliff with them, if it wasn't so hot,and if only someone talked while waiting for the guys. *crickets*. hehehe, well we swam when we got back to evercrest. During the first night, i was supposed to stay up and drink with them, but i felt soooo tired. Next night, i promised i'd stay up na, but this time sila tita irene slept naman. Oh well,down to the 3 siblings: Me,ate and kuya. Sadly, there was only beer and since i still cant stand the taste of beer just yet, i didnt drink. Which, i found out, is better. Why? because of the sad truth: i'm a boring drunk. actually, it's either i'm violent or just boring. instead of getting all crazy or whatever, i just get sleepy and quiet. The reason is probably coz i'm already crazy and stupid when i'm sober, so i become the opposite when i'm drunk. So i guess its better to keep me sober! hahaha.... Well, there we were talking about anything while occasionally killing the mosquitos and taking pictures with my new digicam. (Yep,i got a new digicam for graduation! i figured i'd leave the ipod for ate to get so i can finally get my discman back. She uses it more than i do that i forget it's mine =p) pictures soon to be posted on my other blog since i'm not computer-literate enough to figure out how to put it here. Man, we ate so much i thought i'd get bangungot or something. Anyways, it was fun....=)

And so here i am now, just got home from the beach a few hours ago. Tomorrow we're going to tagaytay with my mom and i guess we're gonna spend the night there as well. Then it'll be another week gone by, which means i'm edging closer and closer to the end of summer until school begins and for the first time in 7 years, i wont be seeing the same familiar.welcoming and reassuring faces again. BUT!!! we're not quite there yet, so i'll save that for another time. I just soooooo wanna enjoy and make the most out of this summer, but after the blast i've had last year, i dunno if anything can compare to that. I realized that 2004 was soooooooo much fun, everything from start to end! even though there were setbacks here and there, i loved 2004. If only you could take away all those tragedies and losses that have happened, itwould be almost perfect. Sigh..... this is my last summer before i'm officially an adult(Eeeeyuuuuuck!!!!!*breathes desperately for air*) and i dowanna waste any moment of it!!!

it seems harder and harder to be wendy everyday.

:-(

tricia grew up at 4:07 PM

Friday, March 18, 2005

Hey! visit www.xanga.com/hobbitydoo for pictures!=)

I probably wont be able to update this so much in the next couple of days, coz i'm going to laguna tomorrow and staying for the weekend narin. I need to preoccupy myself with as much things as possible, and there's a lot to do there, so perfecto!=)

Missing Identity!
I lost wendy!!!!!!! I nursed her back to health (kind of poorly,actually) and decided to bring her to school today, and on the way home, as i was crossing the street, i had this ugly feeling that she'd get lost and she diiiiiiiiiid!!!!! I looked and she was gone....forever this time. There's no way that someone would find her, ang liit liit nun, and even if they did, no one would think that she belonged to ME coz duh, the name says wendy nga eh! sniff,sniff.... i can just imagine her being stepped on by the hundreds of students of ob, and all the annoying little brats of the school... and i cant really comfort myself by saying that she lived a good life coz i barely got to wear her for fear that she'd get lost and now she finally has!! *takes a deep breath*

But okay, in honor of her we shall say that she HAS indeed lived a good life. Even though she broke and i tried in a very stupid manner to bring her back to life. (read: scotch tape)

Sigh. Goodbye,wendy.....

i am talking about a bracelet,by the way.

haha.

tricia grew up at 2:00 AM

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Hey! WOW. i haven't blogged in like,forever. I just feel like i have so much to say but when i go here and try to say it, i have no idea how to start it and get too tamad. Hehe. oh well, summer is here and i'll have more free time and just enough boredom to be able to actually gather my thoughts and write. Sooo... what was the last thing i said? oh yeah...my "being pissed". Sheesh, when am i not lately. But anyways, i dont think i've made kwento bowt the formal dinner... so lets start there?This is gonna be a really long entry by the way,to sum up all the things i've been thinking about for the past weeks. So brace yourselves! here goes...

Goodbye Glee Club

So the formal dinner was on feb 22 and 24... our performance on the 22nd went much better. Everything went by smoothly and we even got a standing ovation from Mrs. Soliven! she was sitting there with her mouth kinda open with that familiar big smile on her face,hehe. But after the show, complications arose among the teachers and our glee club teacher got soooo fed up that she decided to resign. Sigh... yeah, she's been thinking about that ever since the sing-out pa, but she was supposed to finish the year first, sorta graduate with us. But that night, she felt she just had too much already, and she only told some of the glee club people about it. Well,let's just say the teachers and the coordiantors were already getting suspicious. But they keep thinking that mrs. ciriaco was trying to manipulate us into not performing as a sort of protest to her. Helooooo! we aren't that shallow, and neither is she! She'd never ask us to do that, and we wouldn't do that anyway. We're not THAT immature. Such prejudices. Anyways, one of the coordinators went and talked to me about it, trying to get some juice out. Well, thats where these rep skills come in handy!hehehehe... i wouldn't lie to someone like her unless i knew what or who i was fighting for was right. Grabe naman kasi sa ob eh, everything's so political! It reminds me so much of noli and fili... tsk,tsk,tsk. Anyways... so when the next performane on the 24th came, we tried to do our best still, but there were so many technical problems! Like the sound system screwing up in the middle of the song, the mics not working or one was too loud, the mic wires getting all tangled up, the props falling,and the audience not even paying attention anymore. It was horrific. But hey, we did our part na, those things weren't our fault anymore. Good thing my mom didnt come and watch anymore... (o.0)

So that ended the glee club's very last performance. Ever since first year, it's kind of been my getaway from all the hassles of the classroom, all the hw's and projects,i'd just forget them all for at least an hour coz i'd be with a bunch of great people and doing what i love. It's sort of like my rep within the school year.I've sacrificed a whole lot in my 4 years of being in the club.It aint that easy, dealing with the everyday practices after school(we're the only club that has practices everyday), being yelled at during almost every practice, endlessly waiting for practices to start, having objects fly at you, trying my best not to answer back or walk out, watching some of the ex-members answer back or walk out, seeing the other members quit one by one, the recordings for the sing-out wherein we went home at midnight na, all the sweat, tears, and money spent on everything and more. And all this time we've never really had any support from the coordinators or the "big bosses". No club of ob has. Despite me being really pissed at her sometimes, i've learned a lot as well from mrs. ciriaco and she's practically been a mother to us. All my efforts of staying in the glee club have paid off rin naman, i've had my dreams come true several times because of it, and faced such challenges like trying to control and make 40 people shut up and listen. We've never reached a number that much before, and it was just overwhelming to try and motivate all of them. Anyways, my point is that after all out hardships, there was never a proper farewell for mrs. ciriaco or even a proper last performance. So to say, its like the glee club just little by little disseminated. As in biglang wala na, poof! and the other members told me that next year, they're all joining the dance club coz it just wont be the same without us and ma'am. So, wala na talaga, wala nang glee club.

Ateneo!

Sigh. Well moving on... Last March 5, a few saturdays ago, we had this open house thing at ateneo for the school of humanities. It's sort of like an orientation wherein you get to meet your soon to be professors and blockmates, find out more about your course and tour the campus. I was sitting there waiting with my mom, when all of a sudden i see thomas! haha... he's a friend of ian's, met him during a birthday party of one of their friends at valle verde 1. The first time i ever became "one of the boys", as i was the only girl and they were about, 7 or 8 guys. Haha! but it was fun! they were all drinking and stuff, and i was the only sober one. But it was such a funny sight! and they were all so nice and friendly, i actually learned quite a lot from them. hehe, this was the first time i ever felt like i wanted to be a guy, seeing how different they were from the guys at my school. wala lang,had such fun with them. Anyways, i also saw thomas at my interview at UAP, and now i bumped into him again. his parents didn't come, so i told him he could share my mom. Haha! and daldal naming pareho, we barely listened to the guy talking, Which is pretty funny since we've only talked 2 other times before that. Hmm, halfway through the orientation my mom decided to go back home and sleep, so we just continued the tour. We went inside the gallery of modern art(the only one of its kind in the Philippines!) where they had an ORIGINAL Dali, Rembrandt and Picasso. It would've been much better if i wasn't so sleepy though. I kinda felt like i was sleepwalking at the time....Zzzzzz

Grad Ball

Anyways, the night of that same day was the grad ball of la salle. I'd like to thank jay for inviting me! the place was reaaaaaally nice, the whole walk up to the entrance of the gym was covered in rose petals. REaaaally purrty. I saw mia there,(of course) and ysa, anna acha, ian and his friends, kamaira, and cyrene,hehe... i also saw one of my classmates from st. paul pa, but i dunno if she remembered me...she was sitting at the table behind us and i wanted to say hi or something, but people from there dont seem to remember me much! well, cant really blame her, we were grade 3 then,hehe. Well anyways, hi monica! (cant remember her last name). Afterwards we went to Dencio's in metrowalk, where i became one of the boys again.Well, there was one other girl but she ended up leaving me! ahahaha... it was ok though, its fun to just sit and listen or watch guys being guys...just not all the time! haha... as for our own grad ball, well, there wont be one anymore. =( I guess they decided to scrap it since noone was really being cooperative. eh kasi, we're all broke and out of money!! kakatapos lang ng prom nun,hehe. Well, i wouldn't have been able to go din since i'd be in the beach the day they set it up for. Woohoooo!!! i'm so excited...and i just cant hide it....

Cry me a river...?

Exams just ended last week, so we're having our week of "un-school". We just go to school to attend grad practice or to finish requirements and stuff, the last few days with my batchmates. For the graduation naman, i AM the last to graduate!! haha, coz i'm the last girl of the last section. So for the entrance, everyone has to enter by partner. My class has an odd number of students, and since im the last,ako lang walang partner. Yeeeeees naman, star!! bwahaha... and i get to have the introduction of "and last but not the least...." said before my name is called, so then i get the biggest applause. Bwahahahaha! *pa-star*. We just had our baccalaureate mass yesterday, and i feel like i've got a heart of stone. My bestbud was already tearing next to me, and i dont know why, but i couldn't cry! kami ni kaye... i understand it on kaye's part since she isn't exactly iyakin, but i am! and i couldn't cry! i NEED TO CRY, it's the only way i get to release everything. Well, last night, after seeing something and realizing something, i did cry.... but it wasn't because of graduation. Darn it, i thought after a while it would finally hit me and HARD, but it's not. i mean, i'm gonna miss my friends and my class a looooooooot, and i know things will never be the same again. I know how different college is gonna be like and all the changes that are gonna happen, but it just wont sink in!I feel like a block of wood when it comes to grad. What is wrong with me?!?!?!

Mystery Solved!

I finally know what J.T. Drugstore is! Joseph Tarzan*... (*name is changed to protect those involved.) and no, it's not a drugstore. I mean, i thought it was, and all this time i thought it was just some THing i didnt know about, but i actually do!! All this time spent trying to find out WHAT it was, and i already knew it pala to begin with. As in, i have their number on my phone, THAT kind of know. hahahaha....it's ironic how small the world is... (only my classmates' humor will get what i'm talking about). And how do i feel? haaaay...relieved, and incredibly amazed. As in i love telling the whole story about it. Some people say that they'd be really pissed if they were me, but i'm not! ang astig nga eh! ever since i was 14, nandun na pala sila..... ahahaha.=)

Thoughts that creep into my head without warning

I feel really sad about the love lives of the people i know... it's like, no matter how hard you try, or how much you really like the person, i dunno...things just dont work out the way we hope they would. But thats life,isn't it? I understand it if it were just me, coz it never seems to work out for me anyway, no matter how nice things seem to be. Love's just not on my side. But for others whom i think really deserve it, i just wish i could slap the guys's heads and say, "You stupid oaf! what are you waiting around for? cant you see what's right in front of you??" Buuuuut sadly, i cant. Hay nako, if only i were like hitch! hehehe...

I realized i've only reeaaaaaaaallly super ka-duper liked someone twice. They're the only ones i've ever actually CONSIDERED telling how i felt, and since thats something i would never ever have the guts to be able to do, so just the fact that i CONSIDERED telling them is a big thing. believe me. So, did i tell the first one? No... he was practically the "dream guy" of every girl, and i was content enough to be the one he turned to despite the fact that we hardly talked before. I mean, this guy's got terrible memory, so just the fact that he decided to call me for help and remebered i existed is pretty good for me already,haha. i dont think anyone can have that guy anyway. too hard to reach! Now the next guy... he's another kind of mr perfect. the first one was a mr perfect in the jock, popular-guy sort of way, and the other one is the mr perfect in the more sensitive-type of guy way. People gravitate towards him coz he's understanding. But both of them are so hard to reach. Ano ba yan, why are the guys i like always like that?! I've seen a lot of negative things about him already,but i still like him. Am i stupid? I'll say. If i DO do something, this'll go down in history as one of the worst disasters ever, for i am cursed. But i dunno, some part of me wants to just..seize the moment? You'll only be young enough to be excused for the stupid things you do once.hehe.....naks, lakas ng loob ko to put this here, but i know he doesnt read this anyway. Hmm,i guess i know how its gonna be though. I'm gonna end up just being their friends. Everyone i like always sees me as just that. There's a positive side to that, and a negative. but oh well, i've been a "plague" my whole life, just wonder when and IF i'll ever grow out of it.

Wish right now more than ever that i could just be a kid and stay in neverland forever. Oh Captain hooo0o0o0k, i'm over heeeeere!! *waves frantically about*.

c'est fini!

tricia grew up at 9:24 PM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

"I'm sooooo frickin' pissed!"

My favorite line from white chicks, as it applies to my everyday life. I can use this line at least 5 times a day, and today was no different. Grabe, i was already getting teary-eyed at the hassling stuff stuff. Kahit sa seat ko ang gulo-gulo! ayoko na dun, all the guys always crowd around it and guffaw over the stupidest things to no end! I mean, sure, i can be pretty mababaw and sometimes even laugh with them at the stupidest things as well, but this isn't even the amusing kind of stupid anymore, its just downright annoying!!! Tapos they'll mess up my things till little by little, my stuff start to get lost. greaaat.

i'm so pissed! (sheesh, that's nothing new lately.) not only coz of the many little annoying things that grow to be big things that happen everyday, but also because i'm such an insufferable idiot! je suis espece d'idiot! Oh, the blindness of me. sheeesh. i keep thinking that maybe it'll be different this time, hindi naman ganyan,blablabla... um, earth to tricia, when did THAT ever happen? you are suuuuch a fool..fool...fool....."foolish heart,hear me calling....cant believe that i'm a fool again....wise men say,only fools rush in...catch me i'm fooling,fooling fast again...." bwahahahaha.....!

But I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying,just like any fool who ever breathed. If love is blind, if love's a drug, it always is, it always was And love was surely made for fools like me

Ayun. there's a ncie one with "fool" in it,hehehe. Goodness, what's it take?! Even though i know it's probably not the whole truth and i wont get anything out of it, some part of me is still trying to squeeze out every last bit of hope and i end up believing everything. Yeah, i know. STUPID. ~fini

Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you where you want to be
Only then can you belong to me

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night

You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night

On the brighter side, i watched phantom na, and so far thats the only thing that can make me feel lighter. I've never seen the play before, nor did i really know the story, i only knew a few songs and thats it. So thats probably why i appreciated the movie a whoooole lot. Loved it, it was beauuuutiful.

Hmph. Bahala nanga yun. whateva....Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you oh, don't you know Everything's alright yes everything's fine...lalalala....

tricia grew up at 6:52 PM

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Gaaaaah!!!! no time, no time, too much to do, that was my constant cry.....
I haven't blogged in ages, and i feel like there's so much i wanna say! I gotta do a lot of stuff yet here i am, hehehe... whenever i check my e-mail, i end up going here even though i dont post an entry. Haay. this is our last week of normal school days, then exams, then it's all over.... i'm feeling the graduation blues muuuuuuuuch later than i expected! goodness, i'm not even in my fullest depression mode for it yet. What's wrong with me?! My entire life at OB Montessori is coming to an end, yet why don't i feel as sad as i know i usually get? oh yeah......coz my life at OB Montessori is coming to an end. hehehe,it's complicated, but if you only knew the stories. So much has happened in school over the past 2 weeks. (i got to use my REP skills on a really strict and old teacher,ahihihihi...) Wish i could make kwento everything that i've been thinking of on the way to school, during class, in between classes, the times when i'm staring blankly into space, dismissal time, when i get home and take a nap, when i bathe, when i'm studying or doing hw, and before i go to bed. Yes, i think a lot, and mostly bowt the same things over and over. It's getting quite annoying,actually. But then yes, occasionally, new things pop in there and squeeze in among the rest.

Yesterday was my big comeback as the world's guidance counselor. Without meaning to or anything, i had about 8 "patients" in one day. Wala lang, suddenly people just started telling me their problems. But then i havent been a guidance counselor to that many people in such a long while, and i didn't mind at all,anyways. =) Plus i was in the mood for making kwento and hearing kwentos all day,which was probably why i didn't get much done, hehe. And the foodtech teachers kept making parinig na ang ingay ng classroom, and ofcourse, i'd pretend not to hear at all and just go on talking. Till finally they both lost it and said, "Torres! ang ingay mo!!" whoopsies.....(o.o) i haven't heard that line in a loooong time, as i usually yak away in a more subtle manner,but yesterday i couldn't help it,ehe..ehehe... anyways, surprisingly even my ogre sister(her words,not mine) came to me and asked for advice. Even she couldn't believe she was askign help from a 17-year old,hiihihi!! but its ok ats, even though you kept me from sleeping even as i was already lying snuggly in my bed,just waiting for the time when i could close my eyes na, i still appreciated the fact that you bugged your weetle hobbit sister for it... ;) and those squishy hugs did good! Anyways.... now i'm the one in need of counseling, i'm flummoxed to the nth level...both me and jas,hehehe... and annoyed!and aggravated!and depressed!and,and....yun.

General rehearsal for president's day this saturday....WHOLE DAY na, from 7 am to 3 pm at camp crame. Ohgaaaaaad.... black as night,i shall be. The whole batch will have tan lines seen all the way from baguio with the heat of the sun now. Darned those people who destroy styrofoam and wreck the ozone layer even more!!!>:( haay. so much for that ateneo open house thingamajigy.

anyways, gaaaah! its almost 12 na pala! i gotta go, adios!!!

tricia grew up at 10:57 PM