Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Hayayay.... Math Midterms are at last over, but that means it's time for everything else to come rushing in. I feel sooooo bad... the midterms were easier than i expected, but my math quizzes aren't so good. Kasi naman, i ALWAYS understand it better after we've been given a quiz or something. Peste naman! Naaasar talaga ako, troubles with my studies affect me the most, coz it used to be my outlet to get away from other problems.. but since this IS the problem, hay ewan ko na. Maybe it's coz i'm always so tired and sleepy in class that i don't absorb anything anymore. I know i have BlueRep to supposedly even out the stress i'm having with all the fun, but if anything, it just adds pressure and can sometimes be a hassle. Like when I finally have free time to go and research or do something for school, bigla nalang may magte-text saying that i have to meet up with them for rehearsals. I can't NOT go rin naman coz i do need it. Being Ti Moune isn't as easy as i would've imagined. It's not enough that you love the character you're playing, but it also requires the
TIME to internalize what she should be feeling in this particular part, etc. And
TIME isn't that easy to come by lately. PLUUUUS, that one prolonging note in "waiting for life" is killing me. Can't seem to do it, and i get so frustrated and disappointed!! Aaaaaarrrgggh! And I get so intimidated byt he people in Blue Rep, nahihiya na rin akong ilabas...which sucks coz I know I can do better than what I've been doing. I'm so dissapointed with a lot of things. Sorry for all this ranting, i just need to let it out. <:-(
tricia grew up
at 11:27 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Here we go again.
I'm all alone at home on a saturday night. I was supposed to go to Gian's despedida party, but i really needed to stay at home and study for my math midterns on Monday. Hooray(x_x). Where are the rest of the people? Well, my mom's in Baguio, my brother's out with his girlfriend and friends getting drunk, my lola's out playing mah-jongg and my sister's in Laguna at my dad's house probably having tons of fun. I originally planned to reward myself to a dvd marathon alone after studying, but now i don't feel up to it too much.
We can never have the best of both worlds. When it seems like everything's going pretty well, I have learned to enjoy it all but also get ready to duck and run for cover, for something sucky is sure to follow. It may sound pessimistic, but it's true! The good thing about it though is that you also know(or at least hope) that something good will follow that too. Well, i'm having another one of those times. It's both a good and bad thing i guess, coz at least I know it isn't something fabricated or something the 6th grader patricia would think.(why is it that i always compare the me now to the me in the 6th grade??Hmm...haha,memories. EEEEK. Jas, stop me.)
I already know the answer to something i've been asked a lot of times. And in every one of those times, i wouldn't give a straight and confident answer. Heck, I wouldn't even give an answer period. Well this time i asked myself, and lo and behold.... i got an answer! Freshly baked and ready to serve. (Uhhh..pretzels? *immitates the annoying voice of the girl selling auntie anne's at school* "ma'am, sir, get your freshly baked pretzels!") I dug it out of me na talaga, and i knew it all along pala. Just like in school, i understand the lessons soooooo much better AFTER a test or something.How nice. (Go speed racer,go...) It's freaky though, but the alien's been in the closet the whole time pala, natakot lang lumabas. Whoopsies, that was my fault,hehe. Ilang months na ata siya dun. Hmmm. Revelations.I seem to come across one everyday. My world is now so small that it can only fit 3 of my toes. It's been shrinking since March. I think the other 2 toes from a whole foot was knocked off by my blockmate, Ricky. Such a jelly daddy,hahaha....
Okay, but now that i know, the sucky-thing-that-is-soon-to-follow seems to be coming back. It's a risky business, knowing and admitting that i know. Kung hindi pala ganun, well it'll be my fault too. I decided this on my own, minus all little voices. Woweee. Snaps for me. (x_x)
Math midterms on Monday. I'll give you one chance to guess who's stalling!
tricia grew up
at 10:45 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Things are happening at the speed of light. Due to the loooooong waiting hours i have every week though, it seems like time couldn't move any slower. Yet in truth, time's as it always is... mischevious and often taken for granted. By ME nonetheless.
Since the start of this school year, i've been procrastinating more than ever. Even in high school, i don't think i was THIS bad. I feel awful about it! the only thing that can make me feel like doing it is, well....if i feel like doing it. If i know that i haven't made much progress in it yet,
sobrang tatamarin ako. And that sucks coz i wasn't THAT lazy before. I'm scared coz midterms are coming up and blueREP rehearsals are gonna start getting longer and heavier, which means i'm gonna be coming home even later than i already do. And AQH rehearsals haven't even started yet! And i'm too much of a sloth now to do something about it. Oh yeah, i forgot to mention, last tuesday we got the results of the auditions, and i'm Ti Moune!!!:D I'm so happy, i looooooove Once on this Island.... but sadly, i don't think i'm gonna be able to watch AAI's production of it AGAIN because of rehearsals AGAIN.
Was supposed to watch it na yesterday, but we went out with my dad to alabang and stuff. Oh well...
As i said, things are happening at the speed of light. I have so much going on in my head that i tend to overlook a lot of stuff. I'm so caught up on the present that i'm starting to neglect the past and the future. Well, that's relatively new since i'm most of the time too caught up on the past or the future and very rarely the present. Well in this case it's not very good. Obviously, it's turned me into such a self-absorbed sloth who tends to take things for granted. I keep making these same mistakes, when will i ever learn?? I should've taken that stupid staircase step as a sign and reminder. It's like this.... coz every M-W-F, we have our english and literature classes at Berchman's Hall. Eh right before the first step of the staircase, that part of the floor is painted the same color as the steps, so i kept mistaking it as the first step for like, 5 consecutive times. Geeez! It was only on the 6th time that i finally learned. Will it take me that long to finally learn other things as well?? Sure hope not. No, i wont let it. But it seems i've done it again. I'm so sorry.... for being so forgetful and for being too caught up in my own world. Truly very sorry.
tricia grew up
at 5:20 PM
Monday, August 01, 2005
I am stalling. I am stalling. I am stalling.....
Haaay, procrastination blues. I hate when this happens, whenever I don't know how to start something, this is what happens. It's been almost 2 months since school started, and i STILL feel like such an idiot. (ha, and i'm wondering why???) Grrr, nakakaasar! >:z
The auditions last friday for the new Blue Rep production went better than i expected. Well, i auditioned for ti moune from Once on this Island, but i wasn't TOO set on it coz i still have rehearsals for Puppets take Manhattan and everything and i didn't want the schedules to interfere. Well, life's irony is at it again, for when you want something reeeeeally bad, most of the time(for me anyway) you screw up or dont do as well as you wanted to, and when you don't really want it, well, thats when it's good. Actually, I love that role and really wish we were doing the whole play and not just excerpts from it, and man if i get it i'm gonna go brezerk! I was just trying to tell myself not to want it so much so i wont have too many responsibilities and so it's easier to excuse myself and leave for *** * highlights practice. Oh well, results come out tuesday. We'll see.
Hanging out with Eya sure makes me realize how small(er) my world, or OUR worlds are becoming. (that includes the worlds of people other than mine and hers.) I gave her a veeeeeeery brief gist (if you can even call it a gist) but cannot elaborate because it's not really my story to tell. hehehe, surprisingly, i haven't SLIPPED on anything yet! hehehehe...(shows eya "slip" the tarsier) but it's fun eya, dontcha think? ;)
Gaaaaaaaaah, i'm stalling,i'm stalling,i'm stalling........
Sige na nga. Ok, last words.
TWIN! got your text last saturday, i'm so happy for you!!! ;)
MIA! goodluck on the UPCAT next saturday! don't be too nervous, kaya mo yan!
haha, yun lang pala last words ko.
PROCRASTINATING SUUUUUUUUCKS.....
shaddap and get back to work.
tricia grew up
at 11:13 AM
